5 things I learnt as a new dad

Becoming a father is life-changing in ways you cannot fully grasp until it happens. Meet Andrew, a 38-year-old father and Finance Manager at Mandai Wildlife Group, whose life took on new meaning with the arrival of his daughter in January this year. Despite juggling corporate demands and family commitments, Andrew made it a priority to be a hands-on father and a supportive husband.

Andrew shared with us the five biggest life lessons he’s had since stepping into fatherhood, to give us a glimpse into what it’s really like to be a present and engaged dad.

#1 “There’s many things we cannot predict as new parents, but it has deepened my relationships and redefined my identity in ways I never thought possible.”

“Fatherhood has been a whirlwind of emotions, challenges and joys. As a Finance Manager, I'm accustomed to structured schedules and quantifiable goals. But the world of fatherhood is anything but predictable.

One of the biggest challenges in the early days of being a dad was sheer exhaustion. Sleepless nights, constant feedings and the relentless demands of a newborn left me physically and emotionally drained. I was unprepared for the intensity of the experience, but I’ve also since learnt to become more intentional about how I spend my time.

These days, I prioritise moments with my family over less meaningful activities like gaming and social media. My focus has shifted to what truly matters, such as being there for my daughter as she grows up. We celebrate every little milestone – like the first time she smiled or rolled over. I've also enjoyed getting to know her as an individual and discovering her unique personality. Though challenging, the rewards have far outweighed the difficulties.”

#2 “Don’t underestimate the power of teamwork.”

“After the first month, my wife and I quickly learnt the importance of teamwork and communication. We worked like a "tag team", taking turns with night feedings and diaper changes. This gave us each the space for some self-care. After all, we couldn't be there for our child if we weren't taking care of ourselves.

This “tag team” system has also strengthened our bond as a couple and helped us better appreciate each other’s strengths and shortcomings.”

#3 “Maximising my paternity leave gave me more time to care for my daughter.”

“The paid paternity leave has brought invaluable benefits. It gave me the time to bond with my daughter from the very beginning, support my wife in her transition to motherhood, and have more opportunities to be an involved father and husband. Whether it’s night feedings, diaper duty or playtime, I know that my involvement sets a positive example for my child. It’s important that she grows up witnessing parenting as a shared responsibility, and that being caring and attentive is crucial for healthy relationships.

The flexibility is also very helpful. I decided to split the four weeks of paternity leave into two blocks of two weeks, instead of taking all four weeks consecutively. This allows me to activate the leave in case my daughter falls sick, or if there are other emergencies. This way, I can be around when it’s really needed.

Mandai Wildlife Group has also been incredibly supportive with their family-friendly policies. Perks like work-from-home options and free access to the parks make a big difference in helping dads like me be more present with their family. It’s great to have that kind of support to balance work and family life.”

#4 “I asked for help when I needed it.”

“My in-laws have been incredibly supportive, especially on Sundays when we leave our daughter with them for a few hours. This regular babysitting arrangement gives me and my wife much-needed time to ourselves, whether it's for relaxation or errands. It’s also reassuring to know that our little one is in the good hands of trusted family members.

Having our baby has also done wonders in bringing the family closer together and creating moments we all share and cherish. I now have a newfound respect for my father-in-law after seeing how experienced he is with caring for infants. He can anticipate things like when a diaper change is needed and can handle tasks like giving her a bath effortlessly. Watching him in action has made me appreciate him in a whole new light.

I've also found it helpful to connect with other parents in my social circle, especially when it comes to sharing advice on things like feeding schedules or ways to pack for outings before heading out with our daughter. After all, they’ve ‘been there and done that’. And hearing their experiences has eased our worries and reminded us that we’re not alone in this journey.”

#5 “Things won't always go as planned; learning to adapt along the way is key.”

“As a new parent, I’ve come to understand how valuable encouragement and support can be. Reaching out to family and friends for advice or simply to share experiences has made a huge difference in easing the worries that come with this journey. It’s a reminder that we’re not alone in navigating parenthood. After all, everyone is a first-time parent, but this constant growth is overwhelmingly positive—it pushes us to become better versions of ourselves.”

Published in Oct 2024